S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
