So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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