Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
