Non-Jews are for practice
I faked an abortion last night.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
