Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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