Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it because I queefed?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
