sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
