you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
