It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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