I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
