You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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