why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
