I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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