Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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