But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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