she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Michael Bay diarrhea
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
