Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
