I heard we made out
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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