all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
