someone threw a dead crab at me
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
