I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
