Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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