Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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