I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just pee around me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
