After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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