Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
a search helicopter?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
