Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
