just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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