Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
