So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
