I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
