These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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