I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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