During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
