Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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