Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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