Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
