it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
