I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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