I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
