before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
