I looked at my own cervix.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
