You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
