eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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