found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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