I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
