Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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