I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
