I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
