Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
