I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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